Forever. This is one word that is spoken so freely and with less and less weight than it deserves. We use it casually, almost carelessly, despite the significance it carries.
Priority essentially means "the state of being more important than somebody or something else" or "something that must be done before anything else." Yet, in practice, we often use the word differently.
We speak of priorities in relation to women and children, health, careers, money, parents, spouses and even ourselves. We are constantly told to prioritise family, put children first, care for ageing parents and devote ourselves to work. All of it sounds right. All of it reflects what it means to be a responsible and compassionate human being.
And yet, deadlines are missed. Children are occasionally placed on the back burner. Parents sometimes feel neglected. Friendships suffer. In the battle of priorities, deciding what comes first is often far more complicated than it sounds.
A child may be your priority, but what happens when an important work deadline is around the corner? The help doesn't show up. An ageing parent needs attention. Everything demands your presence at the same time. Trying to prioritise all of it becomes exhausting and inevitably, something gets left behind.
The result is often the same, disapproving glances, heavy sighs, unspoken disappointment. Even when you eventually manage to put things right, the questions remain. Why wasn't this your priority? Why didn't you do more? Why couldn't you manage it better?
Children, family, work, friends, everything demands importance. Everything wants to feel like it comes first.
People often say that priorities change. They shift according to circumstances and the needs of the moment. Perhaps that is true. Yet somehow, there is always a feeling that it isn't enough.
I often see women stepping away from their careers because they choose to prioritise their homes, families and children. Yet even then, many are made to feel as though they have still failed to prioritise correctly.
And that brings me to a question that has been lingering in my mind lately.
Are you ever on the priority list?
More importantly, are you ever someone's priority?
Would someone choose you first, not out of obligation, responsibility, habit or expectation, but simply because you matter to them?
Have you ever heard someone say, "You are my priority." Period. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Not because they are a husband, wife, parent, provider, son, daughter, or friend fulfilling a duty. Not because it is expected of them. Not because it is who they are.
But because, among everything competing for their time and attention, they choose you.
When I think about it, I realise that I am loved. I am cared for. I will be looked after, supported and provided for if I need it.
But I am not sure I am anyone's priority.
To be a priority, it sometimes feels as though I would need to be a task, a deadline, a job, a responsibility or an obligation. As a person, I am not sure I qualify in quite the same way.
Perhaps I am wrong.
But I wonder, if you stopped for a moment and asked yourself honestly, could you name one person who would say that you are the priority in their life?
I don't know the answer.
Do you?